Friday, 30 September 2016


I am expecting a parcel.  From MSI.  In the Nether Lands.  "Ding and, moreover, dong" sa the doorbell gaily1, and in due course a man from Yodel hands over a package bearing arcane markings indicating it had indeed come from the land of windmills, clogs, tulips and Western Half-Devil Monster Faces.

My suspicions are aroused when, on removing the outer packaging, that which remains is enclosed in a piece of cardboard which, in a previous life, served to contain bags of Haribo Gummi BEARs, or similarly addictive2 crack cocaine-based Confectionery Product:
Haribo: Packaging of Champions!
This, I feel, is not the kind of packaging that would be used by a Mega-Global electronics corporation.  Also, wasn't their wossname being delivered by UPS?

Bah: It is not the parcel I was expecting.

Hurrah: It is instead from my grate frend Jan-Marcel and contains a Team Cygnus T-shaped shirt and - and this is the good bit - two packets of Stroopwafels, which only have a slender chance of surviving until lunchtime.
"You utter GIT, Mr Larrington!" growled Thomas.  "Me an' me honeys was jus' gettin'..."
"TMI!" replied Mr Larrington.  "Now, back in your road atlas if you want any chance at all of going to Captain Cook's Mistake!"
Now, UPS, where TF are you?
  1. This statement may contain Traces of Lie, as I think I neglected to plug it back in after the bell push got stuck down the other day and it started making an irritating noise rather like The Right Honourable Dr Liam Fox MP3 visiting a conveyor belt factory.  Which means that my sign reading
    Ples ring if an rnser is reqird
    is a bit useless.  Hopefully UPS will cnoke instead if I don't remember to jibble it in the approved fashion.
  2. At least, that was what we zeks were told in the Gulag and, being the Stuffs of which gutters are made, we were in no position to argue.
  3. Who contains more then just Traces of Lie.


  1. M le Maire, brief web based research leads to to understand that Stroopwafels are available from Mr Tesco's Emporium of Toothy Comestibles. Whether this applies only to purchases made using webby science or you can get them in an actual shop I kno not. Jus' sayin'.

    1. I shall have a look the next time I am called upon to visit IKEA in ["The Death Of The Soul" - Mr Sunshine] as there is a GBFO Tesco next door. When I shall next find m'self needing to visit Flat-Pack City, though, is another wossname entirely.