Day 17: Penticton BC - Troutdale OR

I bounced out of bed with vim, vigour and something else beginning with "v" and into the shower.  Arse!  It is one of those where the difference between "cooking lobster" and "Scott of the Antarctic" is about 1/8".  But on the plus side, the bedside light is clever, in that you only have to touch its base to switch in on or off, so no more frantic groping for the switch in the middle of the night when you can't remember the route to the bathroom.

Today's mission was two-fold:

• Enter USAnia and stay there, as opposed to a brief sojourn followed by a one-way ticket to Guantanamo Bay.
• See the Columbia River gorge, as opposed to a thick cloud of smoke where it is alleged to be.

#1 turned out not to be a problem.  I expect having already been in a United State on this trip helped.  Albeit one containing a numbskull flying a Confederate flag from his pickup.  Hello?  When the Confederates lost the Civil War, Alaska was still art of Russia, you hoofwanking bunglecunt.  Anyway, the orchards and vineyards of the Okanagan soon gave way to the orchards and vineyards of the Okanogan as, for no readily apparent reason, the name changes when you cross the 49th parallel.  And they don't last long before the resident flora turns into a slightly more lush of that to be found around Battle Mountain.

Emily picks what looks like a slightly convoluted route, but she assures me it's the quickest.  It involves climbing over lots of hills which the Columbia River prefers to skirt; hills which often make southern New Mexico look like a National Park.

Across the Mighty Columbia for the first time just downstream of Chief Joseph Dam.  There are pelicans:

Click to embiggen, or use your trusty Junior Pocket Microscope (Model 3a)

On the other side of the hill lies the Grand Coulee, which is not dammed by the Grand Coulee dam, no, and instead is a rather nice canyon with lakes in it, and at one end Dry Falls, which is a relic of some catastrophic flooding at the end of the last Ice Age.

Then you hit I-90.  This being the first even remotely freeway-ish road I've been on since leaving Fairbanks, it's a bit disconcerting at first.  Especially because the great tool who designed That Shitbox Dodge's dashboard did the MPH markings in dark red digits.  Tiny dark red digits.  On a black background.  I have to rely on Emily to translate the speed limits.  I-90 gives way to I-82 over more hills and the Columbia River a second time, on one of these;

That pic is from 2015 but the bridge is still the same.  At the same time, I discover that on one of my photographic walkabouts, I have imported about twenty goathead thorns into the driver's footwell.  These are discovered, one at a time, when they stick into my bare feet, causing Bad Swears until they can be thrown out of the window.

While yesterday was the first day of the trip on which I was neither smoked nor rained on, today was similar only better.  There was a bit of smoke around the Chief Joseph Dam but that was soon left behind.  And it was 15C first thing, topping out at 33 this afternoon.  Hurrah!  Which meant stopping for a fag in the depths of Horse Heaven was uncomfortably warm.  Bah!  The descent from Horse Heaven brings one to cross the Mighty Columbia for the third time and...

...it was free from smoke and every bit as impressive nestling in its gorge as the Tourist Information Offices make out.  It's a bit like the Rhine in the Koblenz/Bingen area but with more pickups and fewer barges¹.

Because I went down the Oregon side this time, which means I-84, stopping places are limited, but some notion may be gained from the pictures of lovely bridgey goodness snapped on the way.

Groovy lifting rail bridge just upstream from The Dalles

And so to Troutdale.  I stayed here a year and a day ago, when you wouldn't have seen the river if you fell in it, so that's goal #2 taken care of too.  Goal #3 requires intricate route planning through the forests of the Cascades, so I'll have to get cracking on that, like NOW.

1: Barge count: 0, though I'm told they do exist