Friday 13 September 2019

Day 15: Battle Mountain NV

The motor-car's external temperature wossname was reading 4 C on passing the cold spot by the Battle Mountain landfill and very soon the tyre pressure monitoring system joined in the fun, complaining that the right front was going soft.  Since it stopped claiming this by the time I got back to town, I remain sceptical, but will add some air if I can find a "gas" station with an air line.  Preferably one that doesn't charge through the nose for it like the one in Leadville CO two years ago.

It was mostly a morning to forget, with the wind preventing almost everyone on the long course from getting a legal run in.  Ironically it was last year's unluckiest rider Jennifer Breet who bagged the sole wind-legal pass.  Yasmin's 55.01 mph would otherwise have been a new world record for the women's multitrack class.  Andrea, whom my Sinister Agents report as being unhappy at the state of affairs that has seen him demoted in the rankings by Fabien, was fastest with 76.96 mph, but they had the slow nose on again so we weren't expecting fireworks.

I am hearing the late Peter Cook as The Impressive Clergymanfrom "The Princess Bride" at this point
Neither of the Fast French rode this morning, though chef d'equipe Guillaume had a go on the full course.  Wisely, the team left the Kevlar crash panels in place, as le patron stacked the bike in catch after a 58+ mph run.  Bill Thornton actually slowed almost to a halt in the traps thinking he had a flat, but it turned out to be the chain jumping off an idler and doing Internal Damage.  There was subsequent talk of raiding the Family Dollar store over the road for a plastic chopping board as a source of materials for a repair - they went out to the course in the evening but didn't run the Milan in the end.  In contrast, Todd Reichert became the first person to punt a production velomobile down the course at over a mile a minute, with a (wind-illegal) 60.41 mph run.

Todd leaves the start in Peter's DF
The runners on the short course were luckier with the wind. Adam, again running sans lid, hit 45.16 mph and will get to run the full monty in the morning.  The Haruka 2019 has acquired some polystyrene foam side panels which allowed Kazuhiro to do 35.65 after a couple of falls at the start.  The bike's nose is so low that any kind of lean causes the fairing to hit the ground, which brings an abrupt halt to the uprightness of the rig.  Andrew "The Inseminator" Sourk contrived to crash Triage in the traps, climbed out and pushed the machine out the other end.  Although His Excellency Sir Duke Admiral Archbishop Timelord Nogami tells us this was the slowest run evvah, we don't know exactly how slow as the fule had switched off the timing box after the crash.

Haruka 2019 slowly metamorphosing back into a fully-faired machine
Other notes in my "Geo brights A6 wiro notebook1" say "Need a picture of CP Jay".  One of the Cal Poly Oaves is a convincing lookalike for Jason Mewes in the role of Jay, as in "Jay & Silent Bob" in divers Kevin Smith films.  It also says "Big seedy argunonse pull out stops for YT".  So that's official, then.  Marieke and Arnold bought me lunch today, so I am happy.  And even happier because I managed to get a couple of hours quality snoozing this afternoon.

The Book says of this evening "The Arth sez 'to hell w. the time, launch bikes!'".  Which refers to Sergeant Aten telling us to ignore the road closure window and get Titan and ARION5, with Ken at the helm, down the road.  Sadly ARION5 repaid this largesse by having its transmission go "SPANG" yet again, this time when the luckless Mr Buckley still had five miles to go.  Rosa Bas also had a night to forget, with two failed launches to go with the three from this morning.  On the second one VeloX 9 shed its chain.  No attempt to reclaim her record possible tonight.  Although the wind was almost universally benign tonight, both Josh and Ishtey got bitten; both riders were in the 66 mph bracket, which would have been a new world junior record for the latter had it been legal.

Rosa and VeloX 9, horizontal
Jennifer again shewed how her luck has turned since last year.  Her 71.26 mph run had a wind speed of 328 feet per minute.  The legal maximum?  328 feet per minute. With the "big seedy argunonse" having reached a satisfactory conclusion, Yasmin ran last in heat one.  56.42 mph is a new world record for the women's multitrack class, as well as being an outright multitrack BRITISH record.  Russell Bridge admitted that he'd quite forgotten he was the previous record holder with his 55+ mph run last year in Greg Cantori's Milan.  So had I, and was racking my memory-branes for speeds set by the likes of Mike Burrows, Ian Sheen or Andy Pegg a Several of decades ago.

Yasmin sets off to break the world record.  It is.  Really.  Honest.
The Evil One signals approval on the right
Heat two.  Fabien developed a nosebleed.  Could he run behind Andrea?  Si.  Grazie, Andrea.  Taurus went on to hit 84.81 mph, putting Signor Gallo ahead of Sebastiaan Bowier and third on the all-time list.  Even running on only one carburettor, Fabien did 83.80.  Denise decked the Wahoo twice at the start but kept it rubber-side down at the third time of asking and ran to 70.60, while Ellen van Vugt also set a new personal best with 72.04.  She is due a new! IMPROVED!!1! bike next year.

Two-handed approval of Andrea's launch from start assistant and Spawn of the Pit Frank Lem
Heat three saw Ilona prove that last night's record was no fluke, because she added another 1.5 mph to it tonight, leaving it at 78.61 mph.  Vittoria became the third rider this week to exceed Barbara's old world record; her 76.98 lifting her to second on the all-time list.  The luckless Ishtey and Ken, as noted above, were also in this heat, which was raised from "extraordinary" to "WTF?" when Calvin and Evan set a new multi-rider world record with 74.73 mph.  We do not think there has ever been an evening quite like this.  MOAR tomorrow, pls.

Photo from this morning so this was not yet the world's fastest multi-rider HPV
A wild debrief meeting ensued.  Natch your Exploding Plastic Dimwit of a correspondent had left his camera in the motor-car, which is why there are no pictures of wildly-grinning record holders, capering Penniless Student Oaves or Frank Lem enjoying his role as The Evil One.  Break out the shades and the cigar tomorrow, Frank.

LSBU communiqué #14b says that they went testing Dinosaur Jr aka Velocitractor aka Frankenraptor aka Bikey McBikeface on Poo Road.  The rear wheel came loose and, when they tried to tighten things, b0rked the axle.  They are currently trying to make a new one in time to run tomorrow morning.

1: Srsly.  And it came from Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles, not Bubba's Stationery Shack of Wastepit Junction NM.

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