Day 16: Battle Mountain NV

Wind bad early this morning and few legal runs were made.  Flatlanders often liken wind to hills:

This Unit hereby endorses Denise's product, service or sentiment

Things improved later on though, and it is pleasing to report Mike Mowett finally crack 60 mph in VeloX S and Adam Hari N-1 hit 55.

Adam en route to a 55 mph Hat.

Josh Gieschen made the most of his by locking Ambition's rear wheel coming into catch and flipping the bike a Several of times before - improbably - being caught with it back in the vertical position by the assembled Cal Poly Oaves.  The word "sick" was bandied about; I believe this is a term of approval when used by the Young People.  Not the BRITISH ones, obv.

Josh at the end of Ambition's wild ride

Although the speed record for a production velomobile is unofficial, at least for the moment,  it is pleasing to report that Wild Bill Thornton made a wind-legal 60+ mph pass in his Milan to wrestle the crown back from Todd in Peter's DF.

Note ease with which velomobiles stop in comparison with some of these new-fangled
camera trikes that get halfway to the road block before managing to stop (see below)

After burning such quantities of midnight oil that fresh supplies had to be 
shipped down from Canada in an unmarked tanker, the LSBU team have confected a working RWD machine with conventional steering from a hub-centre-steered FWD one.  Russell Bridge ran it down the short course at 44.38 mph.

Literal flying start for Russ

More bodywork was added to Haruka 2019, which Kazuhiro Takei then crashed shortly after his 34.75 mph run.  He was briefly unconscious afterwards but it was thought more likely from fainting rather than hitting his head.  Nevertheless, the ambulance was called in, followed shortly by another one and a representative from the Sheriff's Department, who I think was just curious.  I've not heard any further news on Kaz' condition, but will endeavour to find out.

Improvised extra bodywork being attached to Haruka 2019

At the morning debrief meeting it is the custom for the riders to pick their favoured heats for the evening (and the following morning if there is one).  Given that this was to be the final session of the event, Russ' qualifying speed was not high enough for him to get one of the twelve available slots.  Until Guillaume de France graciously offered his to the AIM93 gang in recognition of their astonishing motel car park fettling performance.  Eventually it was agreed to offer "on-deck" positions to Russ, Ken and Yasmin as the Liverpool team have also had more than their fair share of percussive maintenance to perform.  In marked contrast to Cal Poly, who confessed (admittedly before Josh's spectacular aerobatic display) that Ambition had only come out of the van to run on 305.

Group photos and arrest of various wrong 'uns by the Sarge then ensued.  Just look at the state of that!

Evan, Calvin, Yasmin, Ilona, Denise and Fabien
Before the Black Helicopters came and hauled them off to Area 51, obv

There are Wols on the roof of the Civic Center!  Who knew?

Wol!  Wol!

Follow the track from the catch parking area and you will come to a somewhat muddy pond:

This is so like an album cover that if Sel Balamir,¹ is reading this, I'm open to offers.

Watz Kirkwood refusing to hand the stick back to Arnold Ligtvoet (L)

The sun may never set on the BRITISH Empire, but it probably should on Mike Head's shorts...

Saturday evening's actual racing was a blow-out.  Many people chose not to run at all because of the foul wind, and some of those who did go probably regretted it.  Notably Jennifer, who crashed VeloX 9 with just over a mile to go.  With Rosa due to run the bike in the next heat, the HPT team U-Haul was sent down the road post-haste to collect the bike.  With so much haste, in fact, that not only was the rear roller door of the van still open, but there was a Hapless Student Oaf still inside.

Ken also pulled up on the course with the main screen dying on him.  Yasmin's record notwithstanding, it was probably a year to forget for the Liverpooligans, especially after last year's triumphs.  Yasmin was the only rider tonight to cop a wind-legal run - the very last of the event - and celebrated by blowing through catch and most of the way to the road block before the frantically sprinting Oaves managed to arrest her progress.  Someone who had better remain cloaked in tactful anonymity posited² the notion that she merely wanted to be first in the queue at the awards bash bar.

Peter Borenstadt approves of Yasmin's queue-beating performance

And that, save for the awards dinner, was that.  The dinner was far too loud, far too long and had far too many unwanted appearances from the rainbow-striped unicorn horn strapped to the top of Bas de Meijer's baseball hat.  This last is undoubtedly a metaphor for Brexit, but then so is everything these days.  The main difference this year was that for the first time in many a long year we were entertained by the junior division of the local Basque folk dancing crew, and anyone quoting Sir Thomas Beecham's thoughts on the matter³ can get tae fuck.  Though to make the entertainment a bit heavier, we also had a surprise visit from Slash.  No, the one out of Guns N' Roses.

Bring drugs.  Lots of drugs.

Natch Sergeant Arthur Aten was on hand to dish out traffic tickets to the assorted speeders, slowcoaches and general hoons from the week's proceedings:

The Criminal Classes

Hatses were dished out to the Worthy of the Parish:

Milliners' Nightmares
Back row L-R: Ilona Peltier (75), Rosa Bas (75), Evan Bennewies (70), Josh Gieschen (60), Mike Mowett (60), Helge Hermann (55), Ivan Gundersen (5x55 on behalf of the Sprocket Rocketmen), Wild Bill Thornton (60)
Front row L-R: Fabien Canal (80), Vittoria Spada (75), Guillaume de France (70), Denise Koronek (70), Adam Hari (55), Ben Whybrew (50)

There should also have been the handover of 2D Thomas from Mikey Sova to another person of travelling mien, but some clods have actually contrived to lose our flat friend!  The bastards!  The replica still lives, but he's on top of the shelves above the anbaric distascope back at Larrington Towers.

Anyway, some fast people:

Vittoria, Ilona and Rosa

Andrea, Fabien and Guillaume

I do not know what happened after that as I went back to the Super 8 for a nice cup of tea and a sit lie down, though some kind soul found a cheque for three hundred dollars in the street and handed it in to the relevant authorities at the Wol Club.  While the prize cheques have no names on them this one indicated that it was (formerly) the property of the winner of the Women's Multi-Track class (number of competitors: 1).  Though the Liverpool team have form for losing items on the mean streets of Battle Mountain, up to and including entire team members...

1: Frontman of the mighty Amplifier⁴, that's who.
2: Also, I can't remember who it was anyway.
3: Look it up like I had to, you idlers.
4: Currently the best band in the world. Trufax.